October 2. 01. 6 - www. Welcome to melancholic orgasm. I feel like the world is so engaged with the US Election that maybe we should all get a vote. Sure, campaigning in 1. Seems only fair, Americans! I don't even know where to begin with my life's activities of the past week. Shit has been nonstop.
Well the weekend was; the week not as much. The most interesting thing that's happened in the last couple was this morning. ![]() Have often said the place I'll probably die is on a particular stretch I walk along in peak hour. Was plodding through there today when I heard a very loud screech of tyres which instinctively made me jump. Surely this was my time but nope.. I'd have been able to run to a cafe, grab a coffee and return before it hit me. My earphones and Taylor Swift messed with the sound making me think it was coming from behind and I didn't in fact die at all. If you saw a fit, handsome fat fuck randomly jump for no reason on your way to work this morning.. In my salad days I posted some supremely unflattering selfies. I was a photo newbie, a bearded amateur mugging for the camera. I’m happy to say that the results of. Moving on.. Saturday began like all good days do and should - motherfucking eggs; scrambled if you must know. Obviously like every Saturday from now back to the dawn of time it was rained out. Unbelievable. Pottered around most of the morning doing whatever including helping the GF work on a wedding cake and cupcakes for a friend's wedding later on. Then about an hour before the ceremony came a knock at the door. T'was the groom and co asking to get ready at our place. Of course come on in! Good on them but I COULD NOT roll this way. For such an important event I'd have a plan plus a backup plan plus a failsafe and would not be so calm if my shit got messed up. Anyway we sorted that and rushed off to deliver the cakes then came back to the bombsite house to get showered and ready. We also had driving duties for the bridal party which, for a bunch of reasons I shan't go in to, lead to me finding out halfway through the ceremony a few people would be coming back to our place before the reception. Umm exsqueeze me? A baking powder?" So again it's important to point out the house was a pigsty. There was cake decorating stuff, toys, clothes and just shit everywhere. Everywhere. So I raced back home the moment the ceremony was over and employed a cleaning technique called "Pick everything up, chuck it in the spare room and close the door". Also had to squeeze in a trip to the shops to grab nibbles and return to transport everyone back in not that much time. It was a mission and managed to pull it off with no one any the wiser.. Next up was the reception. Drove the crew there, ran around most of the night with my camera and had a nice time despite knowing pretty much no one there. We made it home exhausted at half 9 and collapsed in bed. For a wedding I expected to just roll up to and sit quietly, it was an exceptional amount of effort. This does not encourage me to get married.. Sunday was supposed to be breakfast with mates but didn't happen. This freed up my morning as GF and kid took off to do whatever wherever. Sooo.. baked a loaf of bread from scratch. Then mowed the lawn. Gardened. Hosed down outside area. Cleaned windows. Sorted all the recycling. Sprayed weeds. Pulled weeds. Snail pelleted everywhere. Finally found all the Jenga blocks. Did 4 loads of laundry. Plus a whole bunch of other stuff including sunburning the top of my head. Been forever since that's happened! By this point I was wrecked. Hadn't got around to eating at all and Saturday's activities were catching up with me.. Thank you Red Bull. A mate collected me around 2. Fremantle for a going away party. If I'm being honest, ignoring that the buzz hit me on just the second pint was a terrible idea. Furthermore, carelessly moving on to wine and inhaling it just as quickly was even more stupiderer. Skip forward to mid- evening we were well beyond messy. The ride home even included a few unscheduled and urgent stops so my drinking buddy could purge. One such stop resulted in a severe ankle injury. Totally worth it though. As was the shocking hangover. Isn't often I get to pump out a boozy Sunday session and if that means one of my mates has to suffer pain and the inconvenience of being on crutches for a few months, so be it.. Alllllrighty then. Let's get going with the update. Goes without saying I worked my b- hole off on this one and whilst you may not care.. I kidding.. of course you do. This update rocks. That is all. Check it.. IF ONLY THERE WERE SOME MAGICAL PLACE YOU COULD FIND EVERY ORSM UPDATE EVER.. OH WAIT THERE IS. FIND THEM HERE! Terrifying. Frightening Moment Great White Shark Got Inside Cage With A Person Inside- The Gamble. A Guide To The World Of Online Casinos And The Future Of Gambling—Everything You Need To Know - Get A Life!! Nosy Neighbours Try To Get This Guy's Garage Shut Down - Drunk & High. Canna Vine Is Weed- Infused Wine, Meaning You Can Get High And Drunk At The Same Time - OMG STOP NOW! Bar Fights Back Against Customer’s Negative Review And It Totally Backfires - Great Boobs. A Few Beautiful Naked Breasts Secretly Filmed On Carefree And Nude Beaches In The South Of France - Huge Loser. The Misadventures Of "Cuck Finn" And His Stallion, Andrew. Today They Breed A Mega Whale- Beast For Recreation. Mistakes Are Made, Disagreements Are Had And Boners Are Killed Over Some "Dumbass Pictures". Swift Kick. All You Need Is A Kick To The Face- F- ing Lame. Reporter Accidentally Outs Fake Martial Arts Master. Butter Queen. Blonde Girl Deepthroats Stick Of Butter, Swallows It In One Gulp - Flaps Slip. Charlotte Dawson No Panties In See- Thru Skirt - Beach Hottie. Bikini Babe Nici Dee Drops The Bikini In A Lifeguard Tower At The Beach And Goddamn Does She Look Good!! Perfect Body And Her Tits Are Looking Perky As Fuck. Figure Hugging. Jessica Biel In Fetish Gear - Cringey!! Emmy Award Winning Porn Acting - Tasty Teen. Petite Teen Destroyed By Two Monster Cocks. Disgusting Pig. There's No Limits To The Deviant Deeds This Psychotic Slut Will Perform, And Her Pussy Explodes Like A Bursting Water Main! Mouth Vagina. If She Isn't Crying While Deepthroating Your Cock, Then She's Doing It Wrong - Hawt Facial. Guy Splashes Cum All Over The Face Of This Cute Asian Teen. Am I Normal? Nowadays, Asking The Creepy Janitor Guy About Dicks Is Considered Weird. But Back In The Day, He Was The Go To Guy For Good Penis Info. Babaric. Head Instead Of Ball - Inmates Play Soccer In Prison Yard - Seeya Bro. Questionable Video Shows, What Appears To Be A Group Bullying A Single Man Before Throwing Him Dick- First Into A Passing Bus. Dancer Nips. Misty Copeland Is A Pretty, Amazing And Celebrated American Dancer Who Is Ripped, Fit And Flexible.. And Also Famous On Instagram Which Is The Key To All Things In This World. BJ Champion. Is There Such A Thing As A Cock Sucking Champion? There Is Now! - Free Sex. Petite Redlight Hooker Fucks A Tourist - Fuck Midgets. If There's One Video You Must Watch Today.. A Freaky Midget Getting Blown Has To Be The One! Killer Cleav. The Sexy Kara Del Toro Walked The Red Carpet For The Premiere Of American Pastoral! Sexy Dress That Pretty Much Looks Like Fancy Lingerie. Great Cleavage. - Fashion Tits. Bella Hadid Braless In See Through Dress For Fashion Week. A little boy was in the bath with his mum. The boy said "What's that hairy thing, mommy?" She replied "That is my sponge". Oh yes" said the boy "The babysitter has got one too. I've seen her washing dad's face with it".- -In a tiny village lived an old maid. In spite of her old age, she was still a virgin. She was very proud of it. She knew her last days were getting closer, so she told the local undertaker that she wanted the following inscription on her tombstone: "Born as a virgin, lived as a virgin, died as a virgin". Not long after, the old maid died peacefully, and the undertaker told his men what the lady had said. The men went to carve it in, but the lazy no- goods they were, they thought the inscription to be unnecessarily long. They simply wrote: "Returned unopened".- -I'm about three years into my relationship now and I've started to have erection difficulties. My girlfriend and I have different ideas as to what the problem is: she bought me some Viagra and I bought her a treadmill.- -Little Billy asks his dad for a telly in his room. Dad reluctantly agrees. Next day Billy comes downstairs and asks "Dad, what's love juice?" Dad looks horrified and tells Billy all about sex. Billy just sat there with his mouth open in amazement. Dad says "So what were you watching?" Billy says "Wimbledon". Volvo XC4. 0: This Is It.
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